I used to have a picture in my mind of the mother I would be. She was energetic, always ready to play. She baked cookies and ran after toddlers and never seemed tired.
Then MS entered the picture. And that imaginary mother—the one I thought I should be—became impossible to become.
Grieving the Mother You Thought You'd Be
Before we can embrace who we are, we often need to grieve who we thought we'd be. This isn't weakness. It's honest. It's necessary.
The mother you imagined might have:
• Endless energy for activities
• A body that cooperated with her plans
• Days without symptoms or fatigue
• The ability to "do it all"
Letting go of this image isn't giving up. It's making room for something new.
The Mother You Actually Are
You are the mother who rests when she needs to, modeling self-care for her children.
You are the mother who asks for help, teaching her family the beauty of interdependence.
You are the mother who shows up imperfectly, demonstrating that love doesn't require perfection.
You are the mother who trusts God with what she cannot control, planting seeds of faith in her children's hearts.
What Good Mothering Really Looks Like
*"She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."* — Proverbs 31:26
Good mothering isn't about doing everything. It's about presence. It's about love. It's about showing your children what it looks like to navigate hard things with grace.
Your children don't need a perfect mother. They need a present one. And presence doesn't require a cooperative body—it requires a willing heart.
Releasing the Guilt
The guilt whispers:
• "You should be doing more."
• "A good mother wouldn't need to rest this much."
• "Your children deserve better."
But grace responds:
• "You are doing enough."
• "Rest is part of being a good mother."
• "Your children have exactly the mother they need."
A Mother's Declaration
Today, I release the mother I thought I should be. I embrace the mother I am—tired, limited, and deeply loved by God. I trust that my presence matters more than my productivity. I believe that my children will learn resilience by watching me navigate challenges with faith. I am enough, not because of what I do, but because of Whose I am.
Motherhood with MS looks different than you imagined. But different isn't less. It's just another path to the same destination: raising children who know they are loved.
